Modern mating behaviours
By Ali the Sexpert
March 4, 2009
 For thousands of years now, humans have been interested in attracting a mate through certain behaviours that are considered to be attractive to our prospective partners.
In the past, mating behaviour was done solely for procreation, but now days, it is often done to attract a partner. The mating rituals our of past have been altered and adopted into more modern behaviours.
Historical mating behaviours
Historically, mating behaviours were based on biology and anatomy and directly related to sexual functioning. According to the zoological perspective, human males have some significant differences in their sexual anatomy and functioning than other primates.
This includes: large testes and ejaculation when compared to their body size and a “plunger-like” function to their penis that is meant to remove semen (presumably from other males) from the vagina.
Females have hidden ovulation when compared to other primates, making human mating patterns different than other primates who have more visible genetalia and who only reproduce during certain times of the month. Humans also spend more time engaging in sexual activity in terms of frequency and time duration during each sexual session than other primates. After an orgasm in human males, they release a hormone that has a sedative effect, but females continue to be welcoming to further sexual activity.
According to biological theories, human reproduction is based on sperm competition and the female’s ability to enhance their genetic reproductive success by trying to find the best sperm to fertilize their egg. This understanding of human sexual behaviour was the primitive understanding of mating behaviour, but this has been adapted into more complex behaviours that also include our physiology and cultural socialization.
Mating relationships have become intertwined with social relationships, which includes sexual partnerships, parenting and kinship patterns. These social partnerships are often easier to observe and understand than mating relationships because most people assume that relationships are monogamous, but even in the animal kingdom this is not true.
Research has shown variation among mating partners in different species where a significant number of children are born from these alternative sexual unions than the primary couple. Therefore, sexual partnerships and social partnerships are different but often confused as being the same thing in western culture.
The other thing that is often assumed in our culture is that sexual pairing is mutually exclusive with marriage. This is also not the case, because animal mating systems do not recognize marriage as the ideal form of sexual partnership, so this is a human-made idealization about sexual partnerships.
Modern mating behaviours and dating
Since the description above of monogamy and marriage is the typical understanding of mating behaviours today, what goes along with this is an understanding of how people mate and become attracted to each other. In the monogamous idealization, this evolved from a notion of dominance, sexual superiority and fertilization into ownership and status of a partner for some cultures. In the Western society, courting was invented, then dating, which is still the socially acceptable form for finding a partner today.
Dating is a social activity that is usually done in pairs, or sometimes a group, and is a social activity that is intended to find the compatibility of two people, and determine if they are a suitable partner for a relationship or sexual reproduction.
In same-sex relationships and for most modern relationships, dating is also used to determine a suitable partner to share sexual activities with, and to form an intimate short- or long-term relationship with. Dates are often initiated by one person who would ask the other person out. Dates could also take part during any time of the day or night on the beach, or going for a romantic walk.
With evolving social patterns and a decrease in supervision of youth, more and more dating has begun to take place in the evening, and even though dates are still a popular social activity, what is considered to be a date today has really changed over the years.
Modern dating ideas
Instead of taking your partner to a typical dinner and movie, you may want to get more creative and impress them with the following ideas:
1) Cook them a fancy dinner (or order in) and impress your partner with your fancy high definition home theatre entertainment system. Watching the movie in surround sound makes for the ultimate movie experience in the privacy of your own home.
2) Instead of sending a paper card, send your partner a romantic e-greeting card with poetry, virtual graphics and animation in it. You can also attach music and sometimes include a picture or virtual flowers with the card.
3) Write your partner a romantic email instead of hand written poetry. Some people still think hand written is nicer, but emails can be fancy and sentimental as well!
4) Chat with your partner on msn. Communication is still the key in relationships today - but it can be done in this fun and modern way. Use emoticons and music to personalize your conversation.
5) Go on web cam, and dress up sexy (or plan to dress down) for your partner. This can liven up any conversation when you can also see the person you are talking to. Especially if they are wearing something sexy.
These kinds of modern dating tips are also good for long distance relationships, or can be used to get to know each other before you actually engage in any kind of physical intimate activity.
So it is safe, fun and easy to do. If you have not tried any of these modern dating tips, try them out - you may like what you experience.
Ali the Sexpert aka Allisa Scott is a researcher and teacher in the field of sexuality. She has two degrees from U Windsor (Honours BA in Sociology); MA in Social Work (WLU); MA degree is Sociology with a published thesis about sexuality. She also holds a minor in studies in sexuality from Windsor.
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