Taking the edge off: decrease stress in sexy ways over the holidays
By Ali the Sexpert
December 10, 2008
 Whether you are single or coupled, the holidays are a stressful time for everyone. Since it is stressful, it is important to find ways to de-stress and this is a great time of year to de-stress in sexy and fun ways.
Impact of stress on the body
Stress is an emotional and physical response to strain on a person that is caused by external pressure from the outside world. Everyone experiences stress, which manifests itself in our bodies as: tension; irritability; the inability to concentrate; and with a number of physical symptoms that include headache; fast heartbeat; and muscle tension. Even though stress can be overwhelming and have a negative impact on our lives, it plays an important function in our lives. Stress is our bodies’ way of responding to a threat of possible change – and we respond with a “fight or flight” response. Stress is what gives us the indication that something is wrong and it needs to be fixed. Without stress, we would not know when we are in danger or when something is not right.
However, if stress is too overwhelming, it can cause a number of other problems in our lives and in our health and relationships with others.
Some people are more susceptible to stress and take things more personally than others. But there are a number of things that causes stress in the majority of the population which includes: work or career related stress; financial stress; relationship stress; family stress or; the daily stress of managing your every day life. This is very common, but the key is to figuring out how to manage it better so it does not rule your life and impact your health and relationships.
Successful stress management is in how you cope with it. Unhealthy ways of coping with stress include: binge eating; smoking; taking it out on others; over-drinking; and a number of other unhealthy habits and behaviours.
Reducing stress
It is first important to recognize that you are stressed out. And then create an action plan to reduce stress. This is important because then you can find ways to stop triggering your “fight or flight” response, or find ways to change that to relaxation response when it does occur. If you can stop stress before it gets out of hand, then you can reduce the hormonal changes that occur in the body causing stress to feel overwhelming.
The quickest and easiest way to relieve stress is to learn some relaxation and breathing techniques as well as progressive muscle relaxation, visualization or even getting a massage to relieve tension.
It is also a good idea to organize your day or week and make sure to schedule in some time for fun, relaxation and engage in other activities that make you happy. Sometimes just organizing your schedule can make you feel less stressed out.
Sometimes cleaning your living space or creating a place in your home where you can relax can also be helpful.
These short term coping techniques can stop you from feeling too overwhelmed, which is particularly handy during the holidays. For longer term stress relief, and a fun way to relieve stress, sex or sexual activity can also be an option for stress relief.
Sexual activity and stress relief
Research on sex and stress relief has found that sex significantly lowers stress levels. For example, at Arizona State University, it was found that on a study of 58 middle-aged women, physical affection or sexual behaviour with a partner significantly lowered their negative mood.
It was also found that the following day, they had a more positive mood. Interestingly enough, this study found that when women orgasmed without a partner, they did not have the same positive effects. This study also found that sex led women to feel less stressed, and being less stressed made them feel more sexual.
Therefore, sex reduced stress levels and improved moods. It provides better stress management when engaged in regular sexual activity. Sexual activity has also been found to reduce blood pressure, and prevent it from spiking during stressful events.
Research has also found that orgasms improve stress levels and overall health. Komisaruk, Beyer-Flores, and Whipple (authors of The Science of Orgasm), explore the biological causes of orgasms and the impact it has on men and women. They have found that there are significant benefits to orgasms for both genders. Even non-genital orgasms give sensory experiences that are pleasurable and also stress relieving.
Other studies have found similar results. A British study found orgasm frequency and mortality in men to be linked.
The more orgasms a man had, the longer he lived. Hormone studies have found that when oxytocin and DHEA, are released, it seems to have a protective impact against cancer and heart disease. It has also been found that oxytocin and other endorphins released during orgasm have a sedative effect on people.
This is a great way to deal with stress. There has also been a study that found a link between relieving migraine headaches with orgasm. Sex is also a great form of exercise and stress relief – and when shared with a partner or someone you care about, it can have a number of positive impacts on health emotionally as well.
There have also been numerous studies about the benefits of masturbation and its stress relieving factors. According to Martha Cornog, author of “The Big Book of Masturbation,” masturbation is the second most common human act.
It has also been deemed the “safest form of sex,” a great stress relief, a mood booster, a natural sleeping aid, an enhancer of pelvic muscles and an energetic “pick me up.”
Masturbation does not have the same bad rap that it used to, but some people still prefer to experience sexual activity with a partner. Whatever suits you, but the point is that sexual activity is a great stress reliever.
During a stressful time (such as the holidays), it is important to remember to take time for yourself and engage in some distressing activities.
If sex is one of those activities that suits you, then engage in it safely and enjoy the many benefits it brings. For those of you who do not wish to engage in sexual activity – there are a number of other activities you could engage in, but none are truly as intimate as sexual activity.
Ali the Sexpert aka Allisa Scott is a researcher and teacher in the field of sexuality. She has two degrees from U Windsor (Honours BA in Sociology); MA in Social Work (WLU); MA degree is Sociology with a published thesis about sexuality. She also holds a minor in studies in sexuality from Windsor.
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