Lancers get a kick out of yet another new bus
By Ryan Rogers
Sports Editor
January 23, 2008
 The Athletics Department has found great success with the advertising wrap that they've spun around their Badder Bus partners in business, and have seized the opportunity to upgrade even further to advertise their athletes and the department, while educating their varsity players. The Lancers are now working Ms. Valerie Frizzle as they ride the Magic School Bus (TM) into new and wonderful adventures.
Director of Athletics, Gord Grace, who had experiencing grievous nosebleeds in the last week as a result of some major problems around the office, said that the Magic School bus would be an excellent way to enrich the students’ experiences and bring a more tangible value to the program.
"The Magic School Bus is certain to attract a lot of high-profile recruits from around the province, the country, and in many cases, even the world. Our research indicates that kids all over the world have learned about the dangers of eating too many carrots, and what that can do to the pigment of your skin; how your body's immune system fights to keep you healthy; and what happens when you eat too much asparagus.” Grace continued, “this is stuff that everyone should know! We're going to be proud to be able to have Ms. Frizzle on staff.”
The recent addition to the team will also enrich their practice facilities. Said Grace, “We're going to have unique opportunities for our athletes to do some exciting new training. We will be able to chloroform Ryan MacKenzie, and then shrink the bus down to a microscopic level, and practice racing through his arteries and digestive system. Nobody else is going to have this technology.”
Beaming, he continued, “Frizzle's service will also allow us to make dramatic improvements to our Human Kinetics programming. Where else in the world will our students be able to actually investigate all the various systems that are continuously being functioned by our bodies? No where.”
Some students are leery, however, that the bus might be too small for entire class trips. Mike Diorio, an HK student at Windsor, said that he's already struggling to find a seat in his classroom that's overcrowded. “Slamming the whole class into a school bus certainly isn't going to be any better? And what happens when we leave someone behind? Who wants to wind up left behind in Ryan McKenzie's anus?”
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