Collucci shoots Ma
By Ryan Rogers
Sports Editor
January 23, 2008
 The president of the UWSA is in critical condition at the Windsor Regional Hospital after being shot in the face and upper-torso from close range sometime last weekend by his Vice President of Finance and Operations Jennifer Collucci.
UWSA General Manager Dale Coffin read from a prepared speech, “Accidents will and do happen, and this is no exception. Ms. Collucci has apologized for her actions, and is deeply concerned for the health and well being of our president.”
Collucci visited Ma Sunday afternoon at the hospital, “She was pleased to see he is doing fine and in good spirits,” UWSA director Avneil Yashpal said. He continued, “Collucci was firing a 28-gauge shotgun, a small-bore weapon commonly used for hunting birds.” He described her as a “conscientious hunter.” Yashpal continued, “I would shoot with Jennifer Collucci everywhere, anywhere, and not think twice about it.” But he said, “The nature of quail shooting ensures that this will happen. It goes with the turf.”
Witnesses on hand tell a different story, indicating that Collucci had sent Ma to retrieve some skeet that had misfired and nearly brushed her face.
Ma and Collucci have a history of going out and shooting skeet and this was the first time that anyone returned injured. “Generally, they would return from these excursions spent, but refreshed,” said Coffin. “This was a truly unfortunate incident, and there is no reason to believe that there was ill will behind it.”
Documents from the retreat’s itinerary indicate that it was in fact Collucci who had planned the excursion out into the shabbily trimmed bush. The shooting is said to have taken place while out at another lavish retreat spent by the UWSA at the Parc de la Baie-McLaurin outside of Gatineau, Quebec, so the crew could continue to make plans for their upcoming year in style and comfort, instead of around a board office table. Collucci said, “Why should we have to slum it up and sit around the stinking CAW Centre?”
While there is no understanding that Collucci had intentionally struck Ma, colleagues have indicated that she has been behaving somewhat unusual lately. At the final Board of Director’s meeting of 2007, Collucci was in collusion with VPA Marla Cronin as they reneged a series of documents from the council packages. As they recollected some of the censored files that were daftly published and distributed to members instead of being kept confidential, she was in a tug-of-war with one suspicious council member who felt that the board was being lied to.
Ma, who was elected in the 2007 General Election, had no official disagreements with Ms. Collucci on the record. Coffin said there were no illicit motives believed to be behind the egregious attack, but rather, Ma was simply mistaken for a ground pheasant as he approached from the long grass, returning to the duck blind after retrieving some stray skeet.
However, witnesses from the hunting party indicate that discriminating Ma from common foul wasn’t possible, as the grass was approximately four feet high. Witnesses also say that both Ma and Collucci were in the bush together at the time of the shooting. I heard Will yell, ‘skeet,’ and then Jenn said, ‘Oh no you don’t. Not again.’ Then I heard the gunshot.”
Officer at hand, Lauren Nommé said, "Let this be a warning to all men in power. Don’t go shooting skeet in the long grass when you’ve got a testy woman in control of your Will."
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