University to unveil new logo
By Natasha Marar
News Editor
January 23, 2008
 University of Windsor students are calling for a Day of Action in response to the new University logo being referred to as the limp dick.
Students are upset with implications the new logo will have on the school’s sagging reputation and ingrained inferiority complex.
“It's bad enough that we are already a smaller university,” said Jennifer Barone, Senior Manager, Publications and Web, for Public Affairs and Communications, who thinks that the logo's tiny size and demeanour is shameful. "As if my job wasn’t tough enough to begin with. At least make it a stiffy."
The Day of Action, set to take place on January 28, would involve a letter writing campaign to University administration, a peaceful march down Sunset Avenue, and an animal sacrifice ritual.
University president Ross Paul is leading the charge to fight for whatever is popular. Paul is lobbying for officials to consider redesigning the logo to look virile and confident. “We need a symbol of confidence if we are to be perceived as innovative,” said Ross Paul, “Just because the rest of Windsor is impotent doesn’t mean we have to be as well. We are strong like bull.”
Paul has taken his campaign to the interwebs and created a group on the popular social networking site Facebook. The group, titled “Support the Stiffy” aims, “to show the world how hard-up Windsor really is.”
Many members of the University community agree that the city of Windsor has long suffered from an inferiority complex and hope this new logo will make everyone proud of their endowments.
In addition to the critical impediments facing representatives, any association with the phallic logo appears to be affecting the sexual reputation of many students.
“If I still told chicks that I go to Windsor, I’d never get laid,” said UWSA president Will Ma.
Second-year political science student, Missy Fox, is also troubled. “If I wanted to be associated with a flaccid bastard I’d still be sleeping with my poli-sci prof.”
Paul has even suggested erecting a marble fountain of the revised logo on the grassy knolls between Dillon Hall and Chrysler Hall. Paul indicated, “The fountain will shoot out a refreshing stream from the “U.”
While in support of the pitched logo, OPIRG members cautioned the University that the upward projection of fluid from the “U” would overly saturate the nearby bushes.
“We need to regulate the liquid to protect the young bushes,” remarked psychology student Tom Skeeter. “The best solution is if the liquid could be swallowed by the fountain drain rather than projected outwards from the basin.”
As expected, Womyn’s Centre members do not share the same enthusiasm as University officials. “What do I think? Duh. I hate penises,” said one member. “How is that going to look when we Take Back the Night? At least the limp-dick logo serves as a joke against our male counterparts. But, to be fair, the “w” kind of looked like a camel-toe so I guess we shouldn’t complain.”
The University is inviting celebrity Ron Jeremy for the fountain’s first release sponsored by Cialis.
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