UWindsor President swallows wieners to "Support the Stiffy"
By Lindsey Rivait
Arts Editor
January 23, 2008
 Showing that he can bite off much more than he can chew by dipping wieners into water and just swallowing as fast as they come into this mouth, University of Windsor President Dr. Ross Paul came in third place in the International Federation of Competitive Eating’s “Hot Dog Showdown 2008” on campus yesterday afternoon.
Paul admits that he didn’t have a lot of training for the event. “I just kind of winged it,” he says. “I honestly didn’t think I’d place at the competition. I just wanted to promote my Facebook group ‘Support the Stiffy’ and show off the University’s new logo. As you can see, I have a soft spot in my heart and a hard spot in my pants for phallic symbols.”
The new logo, which has suffered a lot of flack, was introduced to the University of Windsor campus in September 2007. “Many students disliked [the limp dick logo] because it looked like boobs,” says Paul. “Which, of course, is ridiculous and misogynistic. Camel-toe, maybe. But it’s clearly phallic!”
Paul is currently leading the charge to change the logo to something more indicative of Windsor. “We have to show the world how hard-up Windsor really is.”
Competition was fierce as Paul dunked hot dog after countless hot dog into his cup of water, devouring 37 street meat treats in front of the sold-out crowd. Soggy bun bits coated the table, and Paul, as he swallowed to place just behind Rosie O’Donnell in second place and Al Franken in first.
When asked how he felt about his podium finish, Paul replied, “I have a tummy ache, but I was pretty happy with the results. I can’t wait until Neil Gold takes over…uh, I mean, the presidential search committee finds a suitable replacement for me.”
The University of Windsor has also received a criticism for ranking so low on Maclean’s annual University Rankings. “Hey! We’re in the top ten! And at least we’re not Concordia. What the hell is their logo supposed to be, anyway? Is that Mr. Sun reading a book? Oh yeah, that’s some really brilliant art!” explains Paul, smelling like a low budget carnival.
Paul hopes this exposure will aid his cause and change the way students perceive the school and themselves.
Certainly, the new logo and Paul’s Facebook group will receive even more press now, thanks to Paul’s love of wieners.
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