UWindsor President swallows wieners to "Support the Stiffy"
By Lindsey Rivait
Arts Editor
January 23, 2008
Showing that he can bite off much more than he can chew by dipping wieners into water and just swallowing as fast as they come into this mouth, University of Windsor President Dr. Ross Paul came in third place in the International Federation of Competitive Eating’s “Hot Dog Showdown 2008” on campus yesterday afternoon.
Paul admits that he didn’t have a lot of training for the event. “I just kind of winged it,” he says. “I honestly didn’t think I’d place at the competition. I just wanted to promote my Facebook group ‘Support the Stiffy’ and show off the University’s new logo. As you can see, I have a soft spot in my heart and a hard spot in my pants for phallic symbols.” >>
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Mayor finds solution for engineering building debacle
By Lindsey Rivait
Arts Editor
January 23, 2008
In an effort to appease University of Windsor students and the City of Windsor, the University has made a compromise to those demanding they move their engineering building downtown. Mayor Eddie Francis announced yesterday that he would instead be moving the entirety of downtown to the campus.
“While having the campus located in a downtown environment would be beneficial to the students, those pesky kids at St. Clair beat us to the punch by snatching up the old Cleary building. What could we do? Take the Capitol? Yeah, that’s just what St. Clair would want—for us to look like fools!” says University of Windsor President Ross Paul.
Paul promises that the move will not be costly to taxpayers or students. “The West end already has a bunch of bars,” explains Paul. “All we need are some brass poles!” >>
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Players' open feminist theatre
By Aaron Feldman
Lance Writer
January 23, 2008
Last Friday, the University Players premiered Men: Oink Oink, the latest production of famed playwright Dr. Gyna Wallace, in the Jackman Centre’s Studio Theatre. The actors performed the 4-hour play, also directed by Wallace, to a sold-out crowd. Edgy, empowering, and often quite violent, MOO is one of those plays that, according to Wallace’s notes in the program, “isn’t afraid to address the harsh realities to which our sisters must awaken if we hope to win the gender war.”
In terms of plot, MOO is decidedly sparse (it is summed up in the program with one word: ‘Justice’). The play opens with Moon Mother (played impeccably by Merryn Renshaw) entering the stage and declaring that there is a disease in the theatre, one that has been choking humanity for millions of years. >>
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