CFNM: porn for women and the controversy that surrounds it
By Ali the Sexpert
November 21, 2007
 For those of you who do not know, CFNM stands for “clothed female, naked male”. It is a type of fantasy, pornography or party that is intended primarily for straight women but is also enjoyed by straight men.
CFNM involves a situation where a man (or several men) are stripped naked by a woman (or women) to demonstrate or perform sexual acts while the woman (or women) watch or participate in activities with the man/men while the women remain fully clothed. This kind of pornography is growing in popularity all over the world.
About CFNM
According to Wikipedia.com, CFNM as a sexual interest did not occur until the early 1990’s with the rise of the Internet. CFNM is a category that encompasses several different types of sexual scenarios where men are naked and women are clothed. The most common forms of CFNM usually involve females dominating males, exhibitionism or entertainment. There are now several websites, videos or movies and also live action parties or entertainment that caters to those who are interested in CFNM.
The men who participate in CFNM are usually submissive men who like to be dominated and sometimes humiliated by women. They are men who are very comfortable being naked, and who also like to be the centre of attention.
Men who enjoy CFNM often enjoy it so much that they completely submit themselves to the woman or women involved in the play scenario, and they will often engage in activities that they may not otherwise engage in. This could include sexual activities with other men, using sex toys or performing for women in ways that may be humiliating. They enjoy the exhilaration of giving up power and control and having a woman take over for them. This is sexually arousing and can be considered a fetish. Some BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism) play scenarios involve CFNM, which is negotiated between those involved. However, sometimes the men involved just like to be told what to do and get aroused from entertaining women.
CFNM and Women’s Role
 The women who participate in CFNM are often referred to as “femdoms” which refers to their dominant role in CFNM. “Melody” was named the “Queen of CFNM” and has been featured in many CFNM films. During an interview with Melody, she discussed her thoughts about objectifying men and she said. “I think the main point to advertise (about CFNM) to women is the fact that all the women do stay clothed throughout. This should attract them. All women love to look at naked men but often feel threatened by other naked females. They often compare themselves physically and feel inadequate. In CFNM this obstacle is removed. And if watching with a partner, there is no threat to the woman of being compared or her partner ogling!”
Melody and many other women who participate in CFNM express their pleasure in participating in CFNM because they get to reclaim power and be in a sexual situation where they are not being objectified themselves. If you take a look at the numerous websites and message boards about CFNM the most overwhelming thing you will notice is the number of women who participate in and promote CFNM because it is described as an empowering form of sexual pleasure for heterosexual women. This adds to the sex positive movement that is happening which and is redefining sexuality on new terms, and placing women’s sexual pleasure and desires at the centre.
According to “Sangria”, a member of a CFNM message board online, CFNM has some common themes that are beneficial to women. She says, “CFNM in all aspects underscores ‘the woman in control’ and the empowerment of females over men, and uses the naked vulnerability of men at the men’s expense to get there. He is naked for her pleasure, not his. For those interested in CFNM female domination, the women are not there to give sexual satisfaction to the man. This would be considered less femdom and closer to mainstream porno (not that we don’t like this too - but it’s not keeping with the empowerment of the female; rather, the female is there as a sexual servant to the male).” She continues, “The more females present the better. It increases the estrogen ambience of the experience, and provides more clothed women the enjoyment of seeing naked men being dominated. One mistaken belief is that each female must perform specific acts to justify her being there. This is wrong. Females simply being present and watching, laughing and enjoying his naked humiliation increases the CFNM quality greatly. Observing female voyeurism is a huge turn-on for CFNM enthusiasts and the more there is, the better the CFNM experience. One femdom site that’s popular among CFNM enthusiasts is run by women that are also videotaping as well as directing the CFNM femdom movies. CFNM enthusiasts love these movies just knowing there are more women on the set and are involved (particularly given they are bosses on the set)....even though they are never seen!”
The CFNM Controversy
 After hearing about CFNM you might wonder what makes it so controversial. The controversy is in the reverse objectification of men. So why have you never heard any complaints about this? This is likely because men often say there is no such thing as objectifying a man because he enjoys to be sexualized. Men are socialized to think this way about sexuality. People who argue about objectifying women in porn will likely argue the similar issues about objectifying men sexually.
Essentially, CFNM is reverse sexual objectification from what society is used to. It is a movement that was created by women, for women so for many it is empowering and sexually gratifying. It is important to point out that some women enjoy porn and feel that it is okay to objectify men sexually. They feel powerful and amused by stripping men and objectifying them.
CFNM is growing in popularity, so it may change the way objectification is understood, theorized about and displayed in the future.
Ali the Sexpert is a researcher and teacher in the field of sexuality. She has an Honours B.A. in Sociology (Windsor); a MA degree in Sociology (Windsor); is currently pursuing a second MA in Social Work. Campus Kiss is currently syndicated at universities across Canada.
|
