Dark fetishes part two: BDSM
By Ali the Sexpert
October 17, 2007
 Welcome to the second installment of the dark fetishes series. When it comes to sex, many people are fascinated with fetishes because they do not understand them, especially dark fetishes. A fetish that many people are curious about is BDSM or bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism. I will give a definition of it and then explain more about how it is defined and what experts think about it as well as the legal ramifications of this fetish.
Definition of BDSM
BDSM is a specific fetish which is defined as the following: B&D (Bondage and Discipline) refers to a form of power exchange in which one partner is restricted in some way, controlled or trained either through bondage or the use of discipline techniques. D&S (Domination and Submission) is the consensual giving up of power in a relationship and dominance is associated with taking control over the submissive. This refers to the consensual mental and physical exchange of power between people. S&M (Sadism and Masochism) is the giving and receiving of intense sensations or varying degrees of pain in an ultimately enjoyable way. The term sadomasochism or SM refers to the consensual exchange of pain between two or more people, which may or may not involve sexual activity or arousal.
About BDSM
BDSM is often confused with abuse because of the psychiatric and historical implications often depicted it as a torture activity. However, there is a spectrum of activities that is included in BDSM and the most important factor that should be clear to those involved is that BDSM should ALWAYS be 100 % consensual. The range of BDSM activities include light bondage (tying someone up), blindfolding, or tickling with a feather to more extreme forms of BDSM such as flogging (spanking), fire play, suspensions (hanging) and intense role playing scenarios. Any activities you engage in should be discussed and agreed upon with your partner before they occur. This is not something you surprise your partner with. By not discussing it, it will put both of you in danger and psychological and/or emotional distress could result. So it is important to be clear about this well in advance before trying anything with your partner. There are negotiation forms that are available online to help guide you through this process.
BDSM is often confused as a sexual activity. However, it is about the exchange of power, and this exchange is called Erotic Power Exchange or (EPE) which is a term that refers to the basis of all BDSM encounters where one person gives up control to another who accepts control. It is termed as erotic because of the intimate nature of the activities you engage in, but they do not have to be sexual. It is actually best not to start out with sexual activity, but build a trust with your partner by engaging in activities that are pleasurable for both of you. However, that intimacy can lead to arousal and can become sexual if it is between two people who re very attracted to each other. However, this is not the purpose or intention of BDSM.
Prevalence of BDSM
Very little research has been done on the prevalence of BDSM. It is still considered to be an underground activity that is highly stigmatized by the medical and psychiatric community. Some research has been done in the UK and part of the US, however it is not easy to access. According to The Pleasure of Pain written by Bruce Gross (2006), there is, “evidence of BDSM occurring across time and cultures, with perhaps the most widely known example being the Kama Sutra, written by Vatsysayana in 450 AD as a guide to maximizing sexual pleasure.” This points out that forms of BDSM have existed for hundreds of years and that it is much more common than most people assume. Although there are no Canadian statistics on the prevalence of BDSM, it is practiced everywhere, and it takes many different forms.
Mental Health and BDSM
Many people believe that if you practice BDSM, you have a mental illness. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, sadism and masochism can be a mental illness, however changes were made to these definitions in 2000 to the criteria for defining this pathology.
Sexual masochism and sadism is defined by the DSM-IV as a mental disorder when it is involved with prolonged, persistent sexual fantasies, urges or behaviours of being humiliated or being sexually excited by pain for at least 6 months. When this interferes with everyday functioning in life and becomes an obsession, it is problematic. However, most people who are interested in BDSM do not have a mental disorder.
Research has also found that those who practice BDSM do not have a higher incidence of psychological issues when compared to other populations. Therefore it does not mean that you have a mental illness to be involved in BDSM activities. This is a common misconception of BDSM. Therefore it is healthy to engage in some BDSM activities, and it is much more common than most people think. It is considered to be a “dark” fetish because of the persistent stereotypes and stigmas associated with it historically. However, it can be a very fulfilling and healthy activity if practiced consensually and communicatively.
Ali the Sexpert is a researcher and teacher in the field of sexuality. She has an Honours B.A. in Sociology (Windsor); a MA degree in Sociology (Windsor); is currently pursuing a second MA in Social Work. Campus Kiss is currently syndicated at universities across Canada.
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