Sheldon Kennedy brings solutions for abuse
By Ryan Rogers
Sports Editor
September 19, 2007
 When Sheldon Kennedy charged his former coach for sexual abuse, he was looking to find an end, but had no idea that his charges would be just the beginning of an inspiring new career.
Sheldon Kennedy shocked an entire nation when he came forward and charged his former head coach, Graham James, with sexual assault in 1996. James was convicted in January, 1997 of more than 350 incidents of sexual abuse, and served three years in prison. He was also given a lifetime ban from coaching by the Canadian Hockey Association.
Kennedy didn’t know that his voice would have such a national impact in Canada.
But once he knew that his story was going to be public, he had a decision to try and continue to hide his past, or to embrace the media, and use it to his advantage.
“I had no idea and I didn’t really care,” said Kennedy. “I just needed to do it. My life unfolded in the paper so I had to prepare for it to unfold in the papers to get the truth out there. Because it was going to happen one way or another so either I could join them or I could fight them. I wanted to get the message out there the right way,” he continued.
Since then, he’s been traveling across Canada spreading a message of taking an invested interest in children’s safety.
Kennedy visited the University of Windsor last week as he continues to unveil his latest preventative program on child abuse in coaching, RespectEd. The program is designed to educate coaches on the impact of how they interact with their players and educates them on what constitutes abuse, as well as promotes positive reinforcement for encouraging youth. The pilot program is receiving national attention across the country.
Kennedy, and his partner in designing RespectEd, Wayne McNeil, insist that the program is not about catching the bad guy, but rather empowering people to be better through education.
Kennedy bravely told a full lecture room of students the details of his first incident with James, when he was only 12-years-old.
Through excerpts from his new book, ‘Why I Didn’t Say Anything - The Sheldon Kennedy Story,’ he shared how shame and anger led him to a life of drug and alcohol abuse.
The title of the book comes from what Kennedy calls “The biggest question I asked myself, and the biggest question people asked me – why I didn’t say anything. ”
He said, “[People] don’t understand the fear that surrounds this issue, but why did I wait until I was almost dead through drugs and alcohol?” Telling his story of how he was a promising young player who met a pedophile in a power position, promising that he could take Kennedy all the way to the NHL – all Kennedy could think of was that he didn’t want to screw up this opportunity, and did whatever James asked of him.
He said, “I went from fulfilling a dream of playing hockey, to never wanting to put my gear on again. I was in the paper at 12-years-old being praised as the next whoever, and all I could dream about was how to get out of this world without people thinking I killed myself.”
“I came back as a zombie, my only companion was an awful secret that was slowly crushing me,” he said. He responded by living recklessly and turning to drug and alcohol abuse.
“I was looking for ways to get out of my own skin. Living recklessly, living on the edge and hard-core. I was arrested and in treatment centres, it was just a struggle to live,” said Kennedy.
“I didn’t want people to really know me, to know what was really going on. And [James] kept people away from me. No one close to turn to. No one ever asked what was happening. I was the captain, the best player, and we were winning. We won the Memorial Cup,” he shared.
But Kennedy was compelled to go public and charge James when he returned to Calgary as a member of the Flames.
While there, he saw that James was coaching the Calgary Hitmen and knew that he was still preying
“My daughter was born right around that time and I was thinking, I’m never going to be the dad I want to be unless I deal with this stuff.
She gave me the strength and still gives me the strength to want to be better. And that was the underlying factor to me coming forward and wanting to charge Graham,” said Kennedy.
Free from drugs and alcohol, Kennedy says that he is more comfortable telling his story now that he’s no longer living in it. “I think I’m comfortable with the fact I’m not living in the story anymore. I’ve dealt with [the abuse, drugs and alcohol] so it’s not boiling up as much. And I’m coming into the rooms with a solution … it’s a lot easier, definitely,” he said.
Knowing that he wasn’t alone as a victim of abuse has inspired Kennedy to continue his work. “There hasn’t been a day in five years when someone hasn’t come up and talked to me [to admit that they were abused, too],” said Kennedy. He said that the government spends $15 billion each year on the aftermath of abuse, and he wants to spend more time trying to prevent it.
He insists, RespectEd is about changing the mind sets of people, and training good people, not about playing cops and catching bad guys.
For more information on the RespectEd program, you can look online at www.redcross.ca
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