The rebel's guide to roleplaying: Part 1
By Chad Nevett
Lance Writer
September 19, 2007
 Another year of post-secondary education and $10 says it will suck just like all of the others (or, for you frosh, like high school sucked).
The only way to make university life more exciting is to stop treating it like real life and begin acting like characters in movies. That’s why we here at The Lance will count down the 10 characters from college flicks you should emulate to make your time here in Windsor exciting and fun.
10. Hunter/Steve
Jason Biggs in Boys and Girls
University is the time to reinvent yourself, which is just what Hunter does in Boys and Girls.
Constantly inventing new stories to pick up women, he soon finds himself trapped in a string of lies, unable to stop lying about the smallest things. In fact, we learn halfway through the film that his name is actually Steve, not Hunter. His best lie is telling women his roommate is his “retarded cousin from out of town” in an effort to seem sympathetic and nice. That’s what university is all about: lying to get laid.
9. Josh Miller
Tom Everett Scott in Dead Man on Campus
While Josh and his buddy Cooper try to find an already suicidal student to room with, the real lesson here is: if your roommate kills him or herself, you don’t have to study.
The Dead Man on Campus approach is especially key for you people with annoying roommates who you would love to kill, but fear going to jail. Just drive them to suicide! Oh, the fun you can have destroying their self-esteem and convincing them life is nothing but an endless series of painful moments. I mean, they got a cruel monster like you for a roommate, so their luck has to suck.
8. Uncle Ben
Lewis Black in Accepted
This one is for the professors: tired of putting up with the BS of the university? Piles upon piles of horrible papers? Schmoozing in order to get ahead? Just say “Fuck it!” and do your own thing.
Maybe you’ll get fired like Uncle Ben, or maybe you’ll just be an amazingly popular professor that everyone loves . . . like Uncle Ben. Granted, you may have to become the fake dean of a fake school to win over the hearts and minds of the latest generation, but isn’t it all worth it if it means never having to mark another paper where the author can’t tell the difference between there, their and they’re?
7. Tiffany Henderson
Rachel Blanchard in Road Trip
So, you’re in a long distance relationship and you just cheated on you boy/girlfriend who goes to another school; do you tell them or not tell them? Hell no, unless directly asked. That’s how Tiffany handles it and what consequences are there? None.
Tiffany breaks up with the guy and he barely has time to take a final. Plus, her boyfriend cheated on her and taped it, so she even had the moral high ground.
The lesson? Cheating is acceptable as long as you don’t videotape it and then send it to your long-distance boy/girlfriend. Get to it!
6. Chris Knight
Val Kilmer in Real Genius
Is there anything more fun than using liquid nitrogen to freeze the floors of your rez and then go sledding and skating? According to Val Kilmer, no, there isn’t and who are we to argue with Mr. Kilmer? He was Batman, for god’s sake! But, before he was Batman, he was the rebel genius who showed that you can be smart and still start some shit.
Pay attention, honours students: instead of using your brains to study on Friday night, use them to host awesome pool parties in buildings that don’t have a pool and rip off vending machines with homemade tokens. It’s what Batman would do.
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